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Santa's Slay (2005) KILL COUNT is the one hundred and twenty-first video of The Kill Count.
Overview[]
On Christmas Eve, the Masons, a wealthy yet dysfunctional family, are sitting down to Christmas dinner when Santa Claus comes down the chimney and kills them all in a variety of ways. The cast for the opening scene includes bit roles by several famous Jewish actors.
Riding on his sleigh driven by his "helldeer", Santa arrives at Hell Township and decimates the locals in various holiday-themed ways. In one of his kills, Santa slaughters the occupants of a local strip club, frequented by Pastor Timmons, a crooked minister, who manages to survive the massacre. Later, Santa murders the local Jewish delicatessen owner Mr. Green, using his own menorah.
Meanwhile, teenager Nicholas Yuleson is living with his crazy grandfather, a crackpot inventor who has built a bunker in their basement to survive Christmas. When Nicholas asks Grandpa why he hates Christmas, he is shown "The Book of Klaus", which reveals the origins of Santa Claus. Apparently, Santa was the result of a virgin birth produced by Satan (just as Jesus was the result of a virgin birth produced by God--meaning that Santa is somewhat of an Antichrist). Christmas was "The Day of Slaying" for Santa until A.D. 1005, when an angel defeated him in a curling match and sentenced him to deliver presents on Christmas for 1000 years. This means that Santa is free to kill again in 2005.
Upon arriving at the delicatessen, Nicholas is taken to the police station for questioning about Mr. Green's murder. He is bailed out by his girlfriend Mary "Mac" Mackenzie, just before Santa arrives and kills all of the officers. Santa pursues Nicholas and Mac in a police car, but they are able to escape, thanks to a shotgun left in Mac's truck by her gun-crazed father. They flee to Mr. Yuleson's bunker, with Santa still in pursuit. Nicholas and Mac manage to escape, care of Grandpa's snowmobile; but Grandpa is run over by Santa's "hell-deer" and killed.
The two teens hide in a local high school, hoping that Santa's powers will end once Christmas ends; but they are eventually forced to confront him in the gym. They are almost killed by Santa on a Zamboni but are saved by Grandpa, who is actually the angel who originally defeated and sentenced Santa. With Christmas over and his powers gone, Santa flees in his sleigh; but his "hell-deer" are shot down by Mac's father with a bazooka. Pastor Timmons is found dead in a Santa suit and is presumed to be the killer, while, in fact, the real killer Santa Claus is boarding a flight from Winnipeg to the North Pole.
After the credits, Santa is seen looking over his Naughty List, when he looks into the camera and says "Who's Next?"
Deaths[]
Counted Deaths[]
- Beth Mason - Impaled through back of neck w/ wooden spike - 2 mins in
- Jason Mason - Kicked into glass cabinet by a professional wrestler - 3 mins in
- Virginia Mason - Hair burnt off, suffocated in eggnog - 3 mins in
- Gwen Mason - Bludgeoned in head w/ wooden table leg - 3 mins in
- Taylor Mason - Tree topper star to the back - 3 mins in
- Darren Mason - Stabbed through hands, choked w/ turkey, head slammed - 3 mins in
- Mrs. Talbot - Driven off road by Santa & his helldeer - 8 mins in
- Mugger - Stabbed in head w/ candy cane, disposed of into dumpster - 16 mins in
- Gold Diggers Bouncer - Choked to death w/ wreath - 22 mins in
- Gold Diggers Worker - Unintentionally stabbed in chest w/ knife - 24 mins in
- Gold Diggers Bartender - Pick-axe to the head - 24 mins in
- Gold Diggers Patron #1 - Electrocuted via stripper pole & light - 25 mins in
- Crystal Candy - Burned to death in gold diggers fire - 25 mins in
- Sierra Rains - Burned to death in gold diggers fire - 25 mins in
- Dixie Wrecked - Burned to death in gold diggers fire - 25 mins in
- Tess Tickler - Burned to death in gold diggers fire - 25 mins in
- Unnamed Dancer #1 - Burned to death in gold diggers fire - 25 mins in
- Unnamed Dancer #2 - Burned to death in gold diggers fire - 25 mins in
- Gold Diggers Patron #2 - Burned to death in gold diggers fire - 25 mins in
- Gold Diggers Patron #3 - Burned to death in gold diggers fire - 25 mins in
- Gold Diggers Patron #4 - Burned to death in gold diggers fire - 25 mins in
- Gold Diggers Patron #5 - Burned to death in gold diggers fire - 25 mins in
- Gold Diggers Patron #6 - Burned to death in gold diggers fire - 25 mins in
- Gold Diggers Patron #7 - Burned to death in gold diggers fire - 25 mins in
- Gold Diggers Valet - Eaten by helldeer - 26 mins in
- Naughty Boy #1 - Heads blown up by explosive presents - 32 mins in
- Naughty Boy #2 - Heads blown up by explosive presents - 32 mins in
- Mr. Green - Pinned to wall through neck w/ menorah - 37 mins in
- Captain Caulk - Tased - 41 mins in
- Police Officer #1 - Various, including tased, stabbed, exploded - 41 mins in
- Police Officer #2 - Various, including tased, stabbed, exploded - 41 mins in
- Police Officer #3 - Various, including tased, stabbed, exploded - 41 mins in
- Police Officer #4 - Various, including tased, stabbed, exploded - 41 mins in
- Caroler #1 - Beaten to death, neck broken etc. - 44 mins in
- Caroler #2 - Beaten to death, neck broken etc. - 44 mins in
- Caroler #3 - Beaten to death, neck broken etc. - 44 mins in
- Caroler #4 - Beaten to death, neck broken etc. - 44 mins in
- Caroler #5 - Beaten to death, neck broken etc. - 44 mins in
- Caroler #6 - Beaten to death, neck broken etc. - 44 mins in
- Grandpa - got run over by helldeer, head stomped by Santa - 48 mins in
- Pastor Timmons - Impaled through back on flagpole - 1 hr 8 mins in
Trivia[]
- This is the 2nd Christmas episode of the Kill Count.