Larnell Cornwallis is a protagonist from Evil Bong. He is played by John Patrick Jordan, who also appeared in an episode of Mad Men as a dude named Eugene.
Biography[]
Larnell is a stoner and law school drop-out who lives in a studio apartment with his fellow stoner roommates Bachman and Brett. The nerdy Alistair McDowell had moved in with them so that he could have a place to stay whilst studying at college, and Larnell gladly welcomes him to their apartment.
During Alistair's stay, Larnell sees an ad for a large bong, in which the previous owner claims it was "possessed". Since Larnell has earned enough cash from Alistair's rent money, he buys the bong and has it delivered to their apartment. After receiving the bong, they all taking hits from it (with the exception of Alistair, who doesn't smoke). That night, while the guys are taking a nap, the bong, named "Eebee", comes to life, which Alistair witnesses. He doesn't mention it to the other guys, however, and the next morning, they continue taking hits from the bong. Brett also introduces Alistair to his girlfriend Luann and her friend Janet, on whom Alistair develops a crush.
That night, Eebee once again comes to life, and seemingly transports Bachman's soul into it. Bachman wakes up in a strip club, where he is approached by one of the strippers who has skull heads on the cups of her bra. When he comes near the bra, the skull heads start biting him in the neck and he "bleeds to death". The next morning, Larnell notices that Eebee seems to be slowly developing a face, and the others discover Bachman "dead" on the couch. Alistair tries to call 911, but the others stop him from doing so, since it will expose their illicit activities. The trio then hide his body underneath a pile of trash in the basement, after nearly getting caught by Larnell's paralyzed-but-wealthy grandfather, Cyril Cornwallis, who came by to tell Larnell that he just got remarried to a woman named Rosemary.
After Cyril leaves, the guys continue to discuss what to do with Bachman's body. Since the ladies are coming over later that day, they decide to deal with the problem tomorrow, where they agree that they will all tell the police that they thought Bachman had been sleeping.
"Death" and Revival[]
Larnell's hand being bitten off.
That night, Eebee begins talking to a half-asleep Larnell, which no-one else can hear other than him. She tempts him to take a hit out of her, and after doing so, he ends being in the same strip club from earlier, which is apparently called the "Bong World". There, he finds Bachman (who appears to fine), and also sees the Gingerdead Man for some reason (i don't...i don't even...). He also encounters his grandpa, whom Larnell had wheeled away by a bouncer, before he is approached by another stripper, this time with shark heads instead of skulls on her bra cups. Larnell reaches out to touch the stripper's breasts, and the shark head comes to life and bites his hand off.
Larnell, Bachman and all the other victims are revived by the end of the film after JImbo blows up Eebee with a time bomb strapped to his chest whilst in the Bong World.
James gave Larnell's capture the Brilliant Bong award because it was the most bloody of the movie's captures, as well as the most brutal in terms of its concept.
Trivia[]
- He is the First Golden Chainsaw Recipient of Year 4.